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Fun, My Life As...

My Life As A Leafy Green Vegetable

cynthia


Marcy enters to find Cynthia looking a little freaked out.

Marcy:  You look a little freaked out. What gives?

Cynthia: I’m not sure. I had a routine blood test and the results are that I’m possibly… prediabetic.

Marcy:  That’s awesome!

Cynthia (sharply):  What?

Marcy:  Prediabolical is great. It means you’re almost diabolical. Way to go, Cindy. I didn’t think you had it in you.

Cynthia:  Prediabetic. It means I’ve got too much sugar … or carbohydrates…or something. I don’t know. I have to see the doctor about it.

Marcy (knowingly):  It’s because you don’t eat meat. If you ate Friskies instead of pasta and grape nuts and cookies you wouldn’t be in this fix.

Cynthia (annoyed):  I’m not eating meat, Marcy. But you’re right, I have been eating too many cookies lately.

Marcy:  If you ate Friskies then –

Cynthia (snapping):  I’m not eating meat!

Marcy:  Okay. No need to be crabby.

Cynthia:  I’ll just cut back on the carbs, eliminate sugar, and exercise more until I can find out what the deal is. Maybe it’s just a blip.

Marcy:  So what will you eat?

Cynthia:  Vegetables.

Marcy:  And?

Cynthia (cranky):  I don’t know, Marcy. Vegetables. I eat a lot of them anyway. I’ll just… you know… eat more.

 

Marcy:  More? You already eat enough lettuce and carrots that I worry the rabbits of the world are going hungry.


Cynthia:  Yeah right. As if you worry about the welfare of rabbits.

Marcy: Now, if you ate … meat, I would recommend Friskies. It’s by far the –

Cynthia (diabolically):  I … will not. Eat meat. 

I will figure out how to be a vegetarian and stay healthy at the same time. So. Are you going to help me with this?

Marcy:  As long as I don’t have to eat anything green. Yuck.

Cynthia (suddenly brightening):  You know, this could be an interesting journey. C’mon. Let’s see what’s in our kitchen and count those carbs.

Marcy and Cynthia trot off to the kitchen to do some investigating.

Marcy:  And I’ll count Friskies cans.

 

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