Penelope’s been reading too much Marie Kondo…
Penelope Kitten wears Los Angeles Sanitation coveralls. In her little red wagon are a broom, trash bags, Windex, and a bicycle bell.
She marches into the afternoon sunspot populated by the household cats whilst dragging her little red wagon and ringing her bell.
penelope kitten (squeaking): cat nap time is over. (ring ring)
penelope kitten: we’re going… “minimalist.”
penelope kitten: gotta get up so we can clean up. (ring ring)
Hamlet: Ahhh…I’m sleepy sleepin’, P.
penlope kitten: up up up. (ring ring ring)
Marcy: Shut up. (hissssss)
Hamlet: Okay okay. What are we cleaning up?
penelope kitten: everything.
Penelope starts throwing all the cat toys, pieces of tissue paper, and cardboard scratcher remnants into the trash bags.
Hamlet: Wait no! That’s my favorite mousey toy.
penelope kitten: gotta go. it’s disgusting.
Hamlet: So what if it’s covered in kitty spit, dried catnip, and is missing all the stuffing? I love it.
penelope kitten: gotta go. so do these.
Hamlet: Nooo. Those are my tissue paper pieces. I need them.
penelope kitten: you haven’t played with them in 2 months.
Hamlet: I was saving them.
penelope kitten: for what?
Hamlet pauses in panic.
penelope kitten (tossing them into the trash): gotta go.
Hamlet: Marcy! Help me! Penelope’s throwing away all my cool stuff. She’s in a cleaning frenzy! She’s KonMari-ing the whole house! We’ll have nothing left! Nothing!!
Marcy (yawning): Like that box over there?
Hamlet: GASP! Not… MY BOX!
Penelope kitten whips out her pocket knife from one of the pockets on her coveralls, ready to dismantle Hamlet’s box.
Hamlet leaps into his box.
Hamlet: This… is my box.
Marcy: This is what happens when a millennial kitten watches too may Ted Talks on YouTube. Millennials take everything to the extreme.
penelope kitten: hey, marcy very much. I think this plant has seen better days. better let it go.
Marcy: How’s about we minimize your dry crunchies and Friskies cans.
Penelope kitten pauses in panic at the thought of her dry crunchies and Friskies cans getting minimized.
penelope kitten: ok. moving on. (ring ring)
Marcy goes back to sleep while Penelope grabs her broom and continues with her clean up.
penelope kitten (squeaking): now. this decimated peacock feather –
Hamlet (from his box): Nooo!! Not my decimated peacock feather! I worked for hours on that!
Marcy: Heh heh heh. It’s always much easier to minimize someone else’s stuff.