Cynthia: Happy Chinese New Year, Marcy!
Marcy is stealthily stalking a piece of lint on the floor.
Marcy (distractedly): Merci … Mazel Tov…
Cynthia: So let’s see… (Cynthia looks through the morning newspaper to find the Chinese Horoscope) … Ah ha. You’re a Rat.
Marcy: Rat?! Where?!!
Marcy frantically twirls around looking for a rat.
Cynthia: No. You’re a Rat.
Marcy: Gasp. How could you be so mean and stupid? I’m a Cat.
Cynthia: Nope. You’re a Rat.
Marcy (outraged): How dare you.
Cynthia: You were born in the Year of the Rat.
Cynthia (reading): You’re “clever, competitive, and selfish.” That sounds about right.
Marcy: I’m a Cat. Year of the Tiger.
Cynthia: No, that’s Penelope Kitten. “Loving, quirky, and brave.”
Marcy (aghast): What did you say?
Marcy’s ears flatten against her head and her tail whips back and forth.
Cynthia: Uh… well… I said… you’re a Rat and Penelope is a Tiger.
Marcy (threatening): And you’re sticking to that story?
Marcy is about to go berserk.
Cynthia (nervously): Uh… well… yeah… you know…
Marcy (seething): And what are you, Cindy?
Cynthia: Let’s see … (scanning the newspaper) … oh… a Monkey.
Cynthia (disappointed): Darn. I thought I was a Dragon.
Marcy chuckles smugly and retracts her claws.
Cynthia: Well, anyway. It’s supposed to be a very good year. It’s the Year of the Horse.
Marcy: Year of the Hoarse? You humans should stop getting the flu already.
Cynthia: No Marcy, it’s not Year of the Pig.
Marcy: You need a cough drop.
Cynthia grabs a cough drop and her martini glass.
Cynthia: Shall we?
Marcy raises her Friskies can. Cynthia raises her martini glass.
Marcy and Cynthia: We wish everyone a very happy Year of the Horse. May unprecedented adventures await you.