Fun

What Do We Do Now?

It’s back to blogging, baby! … 

It’s Blursday Afternoon in the middle of the 2020 Pandemic.

Cynthia, Marcy, and Penelope Kitten are sprawled out on the sofa. They are mired in apathy, carbs, and barely suppressed panic.

Sleepy Marcy

Cynthia:  We need to get off the couch and do something.

Marcy:  Why?

Cynthia:  Because we’ve been sitting here for 12 weeks. My pants don’t fit and my brain feels like it’s covered in mothballs.

Marcy:  So?

Cynthia:  I’m also worried about Penelope.

Penelope in the pandemic

Cynthia pokes Penelope in the stomach.

Penelope squeaks halfheartedly.

Cynthia:  See? She’s becoming a cat-tato.

Marcy:  But what do we do? It’s still too dangerous for TV production, so we can’t film the next episode of The Cat Show by Marcy Very Much.

Cynthia:  Yeah, and blogging is dead since everyone bailed to Instagram back in 2015. Instagram is a reigning hell-hole of unwashed “Influencers” hanging around in their pajamas whilst crying about unfair algorithms and trying to convince the world they aren’t racist.

Marcy:  Well, except those that are somehow still raking in the big bucks hocking dainty jewelry they sourced from Ali Express or finding their fortunes in fitness videos.

Cynthia:  Sigh … the algorithms are unfair. Hmmm… maybe we should start an exercise themed Instagram? Call it something like … Cat/Human Calisthenics.

Cynthia gets a glimmer of motivation.

Cynthia:  Ohhhh …. that’s great! We’ll do short but inspiring exercises where I cat lift you over my head to Janet Jackson music.

Marcy:  No.

Cynthia (sinking back into the sofa): never mind.

Two hours pass as seen by the movement of the sun.

Cynthia (waxing poetic from the depths of the sofa): I miss 2014. Ahhh … the glory days of blogging. When Instagram was just another tool in the toolbox. When people enjoyed reading blogs, the blogging community was strong and engaged, and possibility was infinite. Ahhh… OTTD posts, fun stories, and listicles. Simpler times, simpler times.

Marcy snores.

Cynthia pokes Penelope in the stomach.

Penelope halfheartedly squeaks.

Cynthia sighs.

Another 2 hours pass as seen by the movement of the sun.

Cynthia jumps up.

Cynthia:  We’re going back.

Marcy:  Back where?

Cynthia:  Back to 2014/2015, baby! We’ll pretend 2016 -2020 never happened. That it’s not happening! We’ll boldly go back to where we were before.

Cynthia and Marcy. Circa 2014.

 

Marcy:  Yeah but then we have to go back to before the Black Lives Matter movement. We’re at the beginning stages of real social justice and change for the better. If we go back, we’ll be living in an unenlightened world. Stop pining for the past, Princess.

Cynthia:  So what do we do?

Marcy:  For starters, get off our butts, help knock down those Confederate statues – 

Penelope Kitten perks up, jumps off the couch, scours around in the hall closet.

Marcy:   – support black owned businesses/creatives, VOTE … The opportunities are endless.

Penelope zooms in with her little red wagon.

Cynthia:  Watcha got in your wagon, P?

penelope kitten (squeaking):  sledgehammer and chisel.  there’s a conquistador monument they need help felling in new mexico. let’s go.

Cynthia (getting motivated):  Don’t forget our masks.

Cynthia and Penelope Kitten mask up.

penelope kitten (muffled): let’s go go go go –

Cynthia:  Go!

They rush out the door full speed ahead.

Marcy (yawning):  I give ’em ten minutes before their pudgy pandemic bodies give out on them.

Ten minutes later, they drag themselves into the apartment – heaving, out of breath. They collapse on the floor.

Marcy:  How far’d you get?

Cynthia (gasping for air):  One … block…. (long gasp) … and a haaal … ff… fffffff …

Marcy:  You are giving a literal meaning to the term “white fragility”.

Cynthia (still gasping for air):  hel … hel … gasp … ppp.

Marcy throws Cynthia and Penelope water bottles.

Marcy:  Buck up, Babe. We’re gonna start blogging again.

Marcy lifts the lid of her computer, opens up a blank Word Document, and starts typing.

=^..^=

 

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6 Comments

  • Reply Big Momma June 21, 2020 at 9:15 am

    Glad you’re back to blogging. I, too, have become one with my couch and your pithy musings brighten our day. (Yes, I now anthropomorphize the furniture.)

    Take comfort that 2020 is half over and compassion is making a comeback.
    Social justice for all is within our reach. Keep fighting, kitties! And maybe take a few laps around the house.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch June 21, 2020 at 11:39 am

      We got Penelope Kitten a Fitbit. Hoping it motivates her to move a little.
      xo,
      cynthia

  • Reply Patty June 21, 2020 at 1:18 pm

    OMG!!! What a wonderful pandemic surprise to get a new MVM blog in my inbox!! So fun to see everyone again !

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch June 21, 2020 at 4:55 pm

      Thank mew!!! We’re glad to be back!
      xo,
      cynthia

  • Reply VIk June 22, 2020 at 5:00 pm

    Yay! You’re all baaaack !!! 😺

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch June 22, 2020 at 5:10 pm

      Vik!!!!!
      Hellooooo!!! So nice to hear from you! Yay!
      Yes – we are going to ease on back into it. We got so consumed with the TV show and then the Pandemic that the blog got abandoned for a bit.
      I hope you and your loved ones are safe and healthy and getting through this crazy time!
      xo,
      cynthia

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