Cynthia: Because I did not.
That’s the latest news.
Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a third grader living in England with her parents, twin sister, and pet cat named Charmmy.
For the past 40 years.
Please excuse me while I attempt to pick myself off of the floor and go about my everyday existence.
Even though nothing makes sense anymore and I am now not sure if I am really me.
Maybe I’m a cat.
Cynthia wanders off in a foggy haze of confusion, bewilderment, and existential angst.
Marcy: Wow. And I thought I was dramatic.
Marcy resumes chewing her toenails which was what she was doing before the weight of the whole world fell on top of Cynthia’s head.