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Smug Judges

Fashion

We Heart Kate Pankoke: Marcy’s Take on Project Runway Season 12 Episode 11

9:30pm. Credits roll on Project Runway Season 12 Episode 11

Kate Pankoke


Cynthia and Marcy stare at the TV in shocked silence.

Cynthia:  I feel like I just got punched in the stomach.

Marcy:  I feel like someone just stole my Friskies.

Cynthia:  The Smug Judges really sent Kate home. I really thought she would get to Fashion Week. I really thought she was going to win the whole contest.

She was consistently in the top throughout all of the challenges. So she made one not so good look. It wasn’t the worst. This doesn’t make sense.

Marcy:  Producers’ decision?

Cynthia:  I don’t know. If they wanted to manipulate us into feeling sad and abused, then yes. I guess. Wow. I feel sad.

Marcy:  I feel  mad.

Cynthia:  Not only is Kate a wonderful designer, she is generous, compassionate, and secure enough in her own talent to avoid the ego infused angst and self doubt that causes most designers on this show to act insane and/or like jerks. She’s sweet. And that’s refreshing. She’s someone you want to be friends with.

Marcy:  I love her. I wonder if she would let me be her kitty?

Cynthia:  Kate was so worried about her “ugly crying” when she got eliminated but in fact, it wasn’t ugly at all. It was beautiful. This meant so much to her… and… it was so heartfelt … and…

Marcy:  Don’t cry, Cindy!

Cynthia (wiping her eyes):  Okay. I just really root for kind and talented people like her. So what was your favorite Kate look?

Marcy:  This one. The flowiness is fascinating to me.

A Favorite Kate Dress

Cynthia:  Like a modern day Marie Antoinette. Magical. Mine was this one.

 

A Favorite Kate Dress

Cynthia:  Love the color and the cut and the design. Well, Marcy, the good thing is that I know this won’t be the last we see of Kate Pankoke. I see her career going amazing places. She’ll be the Christian Siriano of Season 12.

Shall we?

Marcy raises her Friskies can. Cynthia raises her martini glass.

Marcy and Cynthia: Cheers to Designer Kate for sticking to her (Tim) guns by creating beautiful dresses and being a truly positive artistic force in the world.

 

 

Fashion

Marcy’s Verdict On The Smug Judges Of Project Runway

9:30 pm. Credits roll on Project Runway Season 12 Episode 10.

Cynthia throws her hands up in the air. Marcy swishes her tail.

Cynthia:  Again. It happened again. Why do I bother? Why? Here is the dress that should have won.

Justin’s Runner Up Look

Cynthia:  The challenge was to create a makeover look for a Project Runway Super Fan. Designer Justin had a few challenges.

1) His model is Mormon so the dress needed to be modest and cover most of her body.
2) She had recently lost a lot of weight so Justin had to create special undergarments.
3) She is (gasp) bigger than the dress form which unnervingly seemed to be a big deal for some of the designers.

Marcy:  So most of them only design for dress forms and girls with coat hanger bodies? That is unnerving.

Cynthia:  But not for Justin. He created that beautiful dress above that is sexy, flirty, and even skews young. And, he added a very thoughtful element. That white embroidery is actually his model’s signature. Just precious. What a sweetie.

Marcy:  It makes me want to give Justin a big kitty smooch.

Cynthia: This is the dress that won.

Helen’s Winning Look

Cynthia:  Yes, it’s a beautiful Oscar worthy dress but it’s not very special. Also, Designer Helen’s challenge was not as difficult as Justin’s since her model was model-tall and model-skinny. She was able to stay within her comfort zone.

And these were the Smug Judges this week.

Smug Judges of Project Runway

Cynthia:  Yup. All model sized. Predictable, huh?

Marcy:  It’s like they can’t see beyond themselves.

Cynthia raises her martini glass. Marcy raises her Friskies can.

Cynthia:  Cheers to talented designers like Justin for sticking to their (Tim) guns and creating beautiful clothes for the rest of us – the real people of the world.

Model Tristen and Designer Justin


Marcy:  Smooches and a big kitty slurp for Justin.

 

 

Fashion

The Curse Of Being Mass Market: Project Runway Season 12 Episode 9

9:30 pm. Credits roll on Project Runway Season 12 Episode 9

Cynthia:  Why is it the clothes we like never win? I would wear this dress in a heartbeat.

Alexander’s Runner Up Dress

Cynthia:  And this one in a second heartbeat.

Kate’s Runner Up Dress

Cynthia:  And since the winner of this week’s challenge is getting their dress sold at Belk‘s, we could have! But instead of going for “Wow”, the Smug Judges went for “Bland.” Bland x 2 actually, since there were 2 winners.

Dom’s Winning Dress
Bradon’s Winning Dress

Marcy:  They’re okay.

Cynthia:  Exactly. They’re okay. I checked out Belk’s website and these dresses fit in exactly with their aesthetic – kind of pretty/safely sexy – and their price point – around $140. So I guess the winning designers won because they fit in with the store and not because their dresses were the best.

Marcy:  Kind of sad.

Cynthia: That’s what happens when you are a huge store selling to the mass market. Your stuff gets boring because you can’t take a risk. So as an artist/designer what do you do? Make a lot of money selling boring stuff to the masses? Or take a risk? Be bold. Be colorful. Be spectacular. But maybe you will end up with nothing?

Marcy:  Risk it all I say! As our fave Dr. Seuss says, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

Cynthia:  And isn’t it fun to stand out in a super spectacular dress?

Marcy:  Word.

Cynthia raises her martini glass. Marcy raises her Friskies can.

Marcy:  Cheers this week to Alexander and Kate! For sticking to their (Tim) guns by staying spectacular and creating dresses we want to wear!

 

 

Fashion

Proudly Plaid: Marcy’s Takedown of the Smug Judges of Project Runway (Season 12 Episode 7)

9:30 pm. Marcy watches the credits roll on Project Runway Season 12 Episode 7.

Cynthia:  Watcha watching, Marcypants?

Marcy:  Project Runway and I don’t wear pants. I’m a cat. But if I did I would wear these.

Miranda’s Super Cool Plaid Pants

Cynthia:  Ooooohhhh… those are super cute! I want to wear them!

Marcy:  Yeah, well … you can’t. They were sent home.

Cynthia:  They’re “out”? But they look so “in”! The other outfits must have been spectacular.

Marcy:  You would think. Take a look at this.

Dom’s  Look

Cynthia:  Yuck. It looks like an eviscerated Smurf.

Marcy:  And this.

Jeremy’s “Pretty Woman” Look

Cynthia:  Yuck.  It looks like wet toilet paper.  Both of those designers are safe!?

Marcy:  Yes, but I’m not finished. These were the top three looks.

Alexandria’s Top Look
Ken’s Top Look
Helen’s Winning Look

Cynthia:  They’re all black. Where are we going? A funeral?

Marcy:  All of the Smug Judges wanted to wear these three outfits.

Cynthia:  Ah ha! There’s your reason! Fashion critics are too scared to wear plaid pants. Someone might make fun of them. I don’t think Nina, Heidi, Zac, and the other two guest meanies could handle it. They would rather be boring in black than provocative in plaid. They’re SCAREDY CATS!

Scaredy Cat Sumg Judges

Marcy:  The Smug Judges are obsessed with being “Cool”. Miranda was dubbed “Not Cool” by them to which she acknowledged that they were right – she isn’t “Cool” and she doesn’t design for “Cool”.

Cynthia:  That is SO COOL! I am not “Cool” and I don’t want to be “Cool”. I want to be stylish and quirky and sophisticated and fun and … well… ME!

Cynthia raises her martini glass. Marcy raises her Friskies can.

Marcy and Cynthia:  CHEERS TO THE PLAID PANT WEARING GIRLS OF THE WORLD!! And a big MEOW to designers like Miranda Levy who stick to their (Tim) guns –  by not bowing down to the Mean Girls of Fashion – and make clothes WE want to wear!

We Heart Miranda

Marcy:  Anthropologie should call her.

Cynthia:  Good idea, Marcy! Maybe we could get our paws on those super cool plaid pants after all!

 

 

Fashion

Marcy’s Take on Project Runway Season 12 Episode 2

9:30 pm. Credits roll on Project Runway Episode 2 of Season 12

Heidi In An Animal Print Skirt


Cynthia sits glaring at the TV. Marcy sleeps.

Marcy (groggily):  What happened?

Bitter Silence

Marcy:  What?!

Cynthia (sarcastically):  Well, Marcy, let’s see. In the bottom three we have:  Helen, the dysfunctional rocker chick with oddly pointed black fingernails who made a badly sewn together trash bag dress and stopped the runway show with an uncontrollable crying fit.

Helen’s Trash Bag Dress

Then, we have Timothy again. This week Unicorn Man was incredibly needy and desperate. He made a ridiculous looking backwards dress with bizarre boob placement. We also got to watch him manically rummage through the trash for material because he is “sustainable” which means he just HAS to be annoyingly cloyingly insufferably holier than thou. Way to represent us “greenies” Timothy. Thanks. No wonder no one likes us.

Timothy’s Backwards Dress

Finally, we have Kahindo. She made a pretty dress that was nicely constructed but unfortunately did not have the “wow” factor that was needed for this particular challenge. She is a sweetheart. A woman with a “pure soul” says Tim Gunn. Obviously talented. She made a dress I would wear. Lovely.

We Heart Kahindo

Cynthia:  So, Marcy.  Who do you think went home?

Marcy:  OMG! They sent Kahindo home?

Cynthia:  Of course. Because as you pointed out last week, we are watching a Reality TV show. Not a Show About Fashion.  If we were watching a Show About Fashion we would have had … oh… maybe a discussion on why Justin would be so bold as to ignore Tim Gunn’s advice and then still manage to create a beautiful dress or say…an analysis on how Kate got her bust cups to look so couture and Helen got hers to look so hideous. Not just taking the easy way out either and declaring it is because of experience. And again, another very pretty blue dress won the challenge. 

Kate’s Winning Look

Marcy:  OMG! They sent Kahindo home?!

Cynthia:  Yes, I just said that.

Marcy:  OMG! They sent Kahindo home! But I love her.

Marcy’s ears go flat against her head, her eyes narrow, and she looks ready to pounce.

Marcy (seething):  Watch out Heidi, Zac, Nina, and Guy in Camo. We’re coming to New York.

Smug Judges Who Sell Out For Reality TV Ratings

Cynthia:  For what?

Marcy:  A Catfight. What else. Mrrrrooohhhwwww.