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Friskies

Fun, My Life As...

My Life As A Bean Noodle

 

Cynthia and a bean noodle

Cynthia is jumping up and down like a … well … like a jumping bean.

Marcy:  Stop it. You’re making me dizzy.

Cynthia (jubilantly):  I did it, Marcy!

Marcy:  Did what?

Cynthia performs a kind of jig.

Cynthia:  I got my blood sugar levels down. Significantly.

Cynthia does “jazz hands” and “do si do”.

Marcy: What’s “significantly” mean in this instance?

Cynthia:  Down four whole points and only one point above the “normal” range. Take that (Cynthia performs a karate kick) pre-diabetes. Ha.

Marcy:  Yeah!

Marcy does her own karate kick in the air.

Cynthia:  Thank you, Marcy. And I owe it all to changing my diet – reducing sugar and those baaaad carbs (but keeping the good carbs) and exercising. Did you know I’ve taken up ballet?

Cynthia does a pirouette and face plants onto the floor.  

Marcy:  So I guess we won’t mention the time you “stress ate” half a box of ginger snaps.

Cynthia (philosophically from the floor):  That was unfortunate. But, it’s okay. We all fall off the wagon at some point. The point is to get back on and keep forging ahead.

Marcy:  You know, if you ate meat you might not have this problem in the first place. I suggest Friskies Mixed Grill.

Cynthia pops up off the floor with a purpose.

Cynthia (dramatically):  If one more person in my life equates pre-diabetes with vegetarianism I’m going to scream.

Marcy (hurt):  I’m not a person. I’m a cat.

Cynthia (vehemently):  Studies have shown that one does not necessarily need to get protein from animals AND that vegetable and legume protein is much healthier.

Marcy:  Whatever. I’ll never give up my Friskies. (proudly) I’m an obligate carnivore.

Cynthia (enthusiastically):  FYI – one of the best foods I’ve found to get a huge punch of protein are noodles made from beans!

 

Modern Table Meals Italian Red Lentil Penne

 

 Cynthia:  One serving has 20 grams of protein and 11 grams of fiber. Amazing. And, they taste just like wheat noodles.
Tolerant – Organic Red Lentil Rotini

Cynthia (solemnly):  Bean noodles have saved my life.

Cynthia joyfully resumes her jumping bean dance.

Cynthia:  My goal for the next six months is to go down another four points so I’m smack dab in the “normal” aka “healthy” range.

 
Marcy:  So I guess you’ll continue to eat bean noodles for the foreseeable future?

Cynthia:  You bet, baby! (she waves her hands in the air) Woot Woot!

Marcy:  I think you mean Toot Toot.  I’ll go invest in a match company.

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*You Might Also Like:  The ‘My Life As …’ Series

My Life As A Leafy Green Vegetable

My Life As A Carrot

My Life As A Broccoli Floret

My Life As A NOT Potato

And for cats:

Who Stole My Cheetos?

Fun, My Life As...

Rachel Beller Is The Cat’s Meow

 

Rachel Beller and Cynthia

Cynthia comes home from a breast cancer awareness gala exuberantly waving around a glittery pink ribbon, a stalk of celery, and her iPhone.

Cynthia: Look who I finally met, Marcy!

Marcy:  Yeah? Who?

Cynthia shoves the iPhone at Marcy.

Cynthia:  Rachel Beller!

Marcy:  She’s so stylish. Do you think she’d let me be her kitty? Hey! I think I’ve seen her on TV.

Cynthia:  You have. On The Biggest Loser, The Rachael Ray Show, and Good Morning America. She also writes for Glamour Magazine and runs the Beller Nutritional Institute here in Los Angeles. Rachel is an incredibly knowledgeable nutritionist whose research and advice have changed the way I eat and think about food.

For example, did you know that instead of mashed potatoes, you can make a cauliflower mash that tastes the same and is much healthier?

Marcy:  So that helps you since you’re allergic to potatoes.

Cynthia:  More than helps – that was a revelation! And did you know that combining turmeric, black pepper, and garlic powder is a fabulous anti-inflammatory agent, immunity booster, and anti-oxidant?

Marcy:  Ah, so that explains why you no longer wake up in the morning looking like you got socked in both eyes with a giant football.

Cynthia:  Or that you need 35 grams of fiber a day to scrub your insides out of harmful toxins and cholesterol?

Marcy:  Fiber as a scrub brush for your insides?

Cynthia: Yes! That visual alone makes it so much easier for me to remember to get all 35 grams in.

Also, did you have any idea that one 20 ounce vanilla soy latte is the equivalent of eating 12 lollipops?

Marcy:  Yeah, well, I’m glad you gave up sugary drinks since you lunge around like a crazed lunatic when you’re all hopped up on sugar.

Cynthia:  Sugar makes me homicidal.

Marcy:  Wait. Rachel eats? I thought pretty people on TV didn’t eat. Well, except maybe grapes. Or peas. Or the occasional stick of gum.

Cynthia:  Oh she eats, Marcy. She may be on TV but she isn’t one of those ridiculous celebrity nutrition hacks who touts crazy fad diets and cleanses.

Rachel Beller
photo by Teri Lyn Fisher

Marcy:  So no all-liquid diets on the agenda?

Cynthia:  No. Ugh. You need to eat food for goodness sakes.

Marcy:  That’s good. I like gravy on my Friskies but I also like the meaty chunks. What does she say about Friskies, by the way?

Cynthia:  That’s a story for another blog post.

Marcy:  Uh oh.



*Since January is the month that we all start thinking about health and fitness, I thought I would share Rachel Beller’s book, Eat To Lose, Eat To Win. There are so many crazy theories and fads out there and Rachel’s advice is all based on science and research. She tells it like it is and manages to make the whole process fun and easy to remember. I know I sound like an ad, but her advice truly changed how I eat and ultimately, how I feel. And I feel … great! 

 

*You Might Also Like:

My Life As A Broccoli Floret

Who Stole My Cheetos?