Dear Marcy

Dear Marcy: Help! My Husband Likes To Wear Skinny Jeans

 

It’s another Dear Marcy! Ask her anything and hope she doesn’t answer. …

 

Dear Marcy,

I’m really hoping you can help me out.

My husband insists on wearing these super tight skinny jeans.

When I first saw him wearing them I thought he was wearing leggings. I really don’t like them on him, but maybe he is just not styling them right?

I don’t have the heart to tell him he looks awful in them so I’m hoping I could offer him some advice on ways he could wear them.

Would you be able to offer any advice?

Thanks,

Damsel in Distress (ed Denim)

 

Dear Deservedly Distressed,

I am not sorry to inform you there is no advice on how to tell a man to style an article of clothing that – at best – makes him look like a human ice cream cone.

You have two choices.

  1. You can wait it out. Eventually he’ll twist his testicles. This is good news for you if you don’t want kids.
  2. Send him to a ballet class. That is the only place skintight pants are even remotely acceptable in society. Or better yet, take him to a ballet performance in his skintight jeans. He’ll become so self conscious comparing himself to guys that look like this…

 

Roman Polkovnikov Photo by Gerarus Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

 

…that he will rip them off  immediately upon returning home.

There. Mission accomplished.

You’re welcome,

Marcy

=^..^=

*Thank you to our reader Isabell for the fantastic question!

*Please email Marcy at MarcyVeryMuch@gmail.com if you have a pressing question that needs to be answered by an opinionated cat.

 

 

Previous Post Next Post

You Might Also Like

9 Comments

  • Reply TheLadyK March 11, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    Oh, come on now, Marcy. The tights aren’t the most offensive part of the ballet costume. The bow is. If anything, the husband will be horrified, and stop cosplaying a 17th century royal court advisor who’s manipulating the king’s brother to usurp the throne with his fancy neckwear.

    Though the ice cream cone comment was spot on.

    Inquiring minds, however, want to know: is the husband walking around in the skinny jeans with a baggy butt?

    Keep up the good work, you bratty catty!

    • mm
      Reply Marcy Cat March 11, 2019 at 1:20 pm

      i hate bows too.
      if the husband is indeed walking around in skintight jeans but still sporting a baggy butt then something is extremely problematic with his anatomy and poor Damsel in Distress (ed Denim) has bigger fish to fry. (mmmm… fried fish. taking lunch break).
      later and whatever,
      meow,
      marcy

  • Reply Patty March 11, 2019 at 12:38 pm

    Ha! That was a great question! And Marcy’s advice is spot on!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 11, 2019 at 1:15 pm

      We thought so too! We all have issues with our significant other sometimes wearing questionable clothing but at the same time don’t want to hurt their feelings. The good news is that Marcy doesn’t care about your feelings!
      xo,
      cynthia

      • mm
        Reply Marcy Cat March 11, 2019 at 1:22 pm

        i hate feelings.
        spots are always in fashion.
        meow,
        marcy

  • Reply Vik March 11, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    OMG lol good job, Marcy!

    • mm
      Reply Marcy Cat March 11, 2019 at 2:59 pm

      thank mew.
      we are hoping to squash the skintight style. it really is quite dangerous and maybe something i should have addressed in more detail. another time maybe.
      meow,
      marcy

  • Reply Big Momma March 11, 2019 at 3:05 pm

    What age is hubby? Seems to me the 25-and-under crowd could get away with the ballerino look, especially if it’s topped off with a longish shirt.
    Marcy, you look fabulous in that photo but don’t let it go to your head.

    • mm
      Reply Marcy Cat March 11, 2019 at 3:31 pm

      thank mew. i am fab.
      no one can get away with a ballerino look outside the ballet class. even in ballet class if we are being honest.
      meow,
      marcy

    Leave a Reply to TheLadyK Cancel Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.