Dear Marcy

Dear Marcy: Can I Wear A Paint Spattered Shirt On My Date?

Vivienne Westwood Paint Spattered Smock Dress, 1992

 

It’s another Dear Marcy! Ask her anything and hope she doesn’t answer…

 

Dear Marcy:  I am seeing lots of retailers selling paint spattered shirts and I love it!

The problem is that they are too expensive for my budget. Sad face.

 

So! I am going to buy a shirt and paint spatter it myself!

My question is – should I wear my painted DIY shirt with leggings and oxfords or go sexy with bare legs and high heels?

I have a date with this really hot artist guy I’m in love with and think it would be so cool if I wore my paint spattered shirt! He’ll think I’m so perfect and so wonderful and will fall in love with me right back!

Sincerely,

Aspiring Artist’s Girlfriend

 

Dear Soon To Be Jilted,

Just because a retailer sells something does not mean it is in fashion. Or even advisable.

Retailers sometimes play jokes to see exactly how gullible their customers are.  Technically, there is no proof of prank playing retailers, but paint spattered shirts – along with adult droopy drawers -are circumstantial evidence that this form of malicious corporate joviality exists.  Please, see Exhibit 1.

We should all sue for damages.

So, no. DO NOT wear a DIY paint spattered shirt with leggings and oxfords (you’ll look like a crafty elf).

And no, DO NOT  wear it with bare legs and high heels (you’ll look like a slutty mental patient who forgot her pants).

But more importantly, DO NOT think this guy is going to fall in love with you. You sound needy. Guys don’t fall in love with needy. Put on a black slinky shirt, a pair of dark skinny jeans, and ignore the daylights out of him. That will work.

You’re Welcome,

Marcy

=^..^=

 

*Please email Marcy at MarcyVeryMuch@gmail.com if you have a pressing question (fashion or otherwise) that needs to be answered by an opinionated cat.

 

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12 Comments

  • Reply Big Momma March 10, 2017 at 6:25 am

    Marcy, I agree with you on all points. Great fashion and relationship advice!
    I sort of wish, though, that paint-splattered sweats would become trendy since I have several such pieces.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 10, 2017 at 1:30 pm

      it could happen. maybe you could start the trend. or not.
      meow,marcy

  • Reply Patty March 10, 2017 at 12:35 pm

    OMG!! This is the BEST!! Marcy had me at “Dear Soon To Be Jilted!!” I cannot believe that those droopy drawers actually exist (although they do look comfy!). Marcy, thank you for this sage advice and for saving me from ever having to splatter paint on my clothes in the name of fashion!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 10, 2017 at 1:29 pm

      you’re welcome.
      meow, marcy

  • Reply TheLadyK March 10, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    This is awesome! It wasn’t me this time with the bad fashion idea! WOOHOO!
    I’m going to find someone I hate and tell them to wear a splattered shirt AND droopy pants.
    At the same time.
    (PS — Thanks for the tip on what to wear for a date — I’ve been wondering. Now I just have to get a date.)
    xo

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 10, 2017 at 9:31 pm

      just be sure to play hard to get in your hot date outfit!
      meow,marcy

  • Reply Vik March 13, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    Marcy, I just love it when you combine fashion and relationship advice!!!!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 13, 2017 at 5:57 pm

      it’s what i know. stupid humans never listen though. btw, keep away from the paint.
      meow,marcy

  • Reply Liz March 16, 2017 at 10:07 am

    Ha! I have not seen these paint splatter shirts, and I agree that they resemble a dirty artist’s smock. I do like paint splatter jeans though. Or maybe I just like the idea of them because I haven’t found a pair I like yet. I don’t want ones splattered with primary colors because then, again, it looks like a dirty primary art class smock. I would like some that are unicorn inspired with swirls of cotton candy pinks, blues, and purples with a smattering of glitter. I was kind of with Marcy on judging Aspiring Artist’s Girlfriend for being delusional, but look who’s fantasizing about unicorn jeans. lol

    <3 Liz
    http://www.withwonderandwhimsy.com

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 19, 2017 at 5:34 pm

      Your unicorn inspired jeans actually sound pretty amazing! Let me know if you find them! Or… do your own unicorn jean DIY! Why not?! Fashion is supposed to be fun! (don’t tell Marcy I said that. she’s so serious.)
      xo,cynthia

  • Reply Gwen March 21, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    Ignore the daylights out of him! I love it! I had the perfect paint-splattered shirt in high school. Because I used to wear it in art class. Why, oh why did I throw it away? Sure, it was a baggy old purple-brown-ish flannel of my dad’s, but it’d be IN STYLE now!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 21, 2017 at 3:25 pm

      OMG – you would be so on trend!!
      xo and meow,
      cynthia + marcy

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