It’s another Dear Marcy! Ask her anything and hope she doesn’t answer…
Dear Marcy: I am seeing lots of retailers selling paint spattered shirts and I love it!
The problem is that they are too expensive for my budget. Sad face.
So! I am going to buy a shirt and paint spatter it myself!
My question is – should I wear my painted DIY shirt with leggings and oxfords or go sexy with bare legs and high heels?
I have a date with this really hot artist guy I’m in love with and think it would be so cool if I wore my paint spattered shirt! He’ll think I’m so perfect and so wonderful and will fall in love with me right back!
Aspiring Artist’s Girlfriend
Dear Soon To Be Jilted,
Just because a retailer sells something does not mean it is in fashion. Or even advisable.
Retailers sometimes play jokes to see exactly how gullible their customers are. Technically, there is no proof of prank playing retailers, but paint spattered shirts – along with adult droopy drawers -are circumstantial evidence that this form of malicious corporate joviality exists. Please, see Exhibit 1.
We should all sue for damages.
So, no. DO NOT wear a DIY paint spattered shirt with leggings and oxfords (you’ll look like a crafty elf).
And no, DO NOT wear it with bare legs and high heels (you’ll look like a slutty mental patient who forgot her pants).
But more importantly, DO NOT think this guy is going to fall in love with you. You sound needy. Guys don’t fall in love with needy. Put on a black slinky shirt, a pair of dark skinny jeans, and ignore the daylights out of him. That will work.
*Please email Marcy at MarcyVeryMuch@gmail.com if you have a pressing question (fashion or otherwise) that needs to be answered by an opinionated cat.