(Buying via the affiliate links may result in Marcy and Penelope getting extra treats.)
Cynthia: Hey, Cat Lovers! I’ve decided that our cats (or dogs, or hamsters, or pet pigs) would buy us a Valentine’s gift if they had opposable thumbs and the ability to use credit cards and the internet.
I mean, think about it… they love us so much. They are so grateful to live in our houses and get free food and sunspots and a life free of predators. I bet if they could, they would shower us with flowers and candy and jewelry and just about everything that had a cute heart on it. I bet –
Marcy: Wait. Is this a post about how to justify buying heart emblazoned crap for yourself for a stupid holiday about love?
Cynthia (icily): Maybe.
Marcy (respectfully): Fine. Continue.
Cynthia: So why not help a kitty out? Use your opposable thumbs. Open up that computer. Take that credit card and purchase a Valentine’s Day gift for you… from… your kitty!
*Cynthia’s Valentine’s Day Dream Scenario*
penelope kitten (squeaking): i luv cindy so much. she saved me from that creepy motel parking lot and now i’m so happy and so well fed and so relaxed. i’m gonna give her the best valentine’s day presents ever.
penelope kiiten: i’d bet she’d really love this necklace with all her kitty’s names on it too. squeak!
*Cynthia’s Valentine’s Day Reality*
Penelope Kitten brings home a dead mouse.
Marcy pukes up a hairball.
Cynthia: Yup. It’s time to take responsibility for our own Valentine’s Day gifts. So, let your cat buy you that cute heart tote or that adorable name necklace. When anyone inquires… just say it was a gift … from your cat!
Marcy: And no one will ever think you are a crazy cat lady. Never ever.