|Metal Garden Art Duck by Frivolous Tendencies, for sale on Etsy|
Monday evening. Cynthia and Marcy are camped out on the sofa looking grumpy and annoyed.
The Oregon Ducks just lost to the Ohio State Buckeyes. The score: 42-20.
Cynthia’s husband, Freddy, has just retired to his office, crying into his Steelers Terrible Towel.
Cynthia: This is terrible. We don’t have a post ready for our blog tomorrow.
Marcy: Why not?
Cynthia: Because we spent the last four hours watching the Oregon Ducks get smooshed by the Ohio State Buckeyes. Now we don’t have a blog post. How stupid are we?
Marcy: Pretty stupid. That was the most annoying four hours of my life. And what’s with all the car commercials?
Cynthia: And truck commercials.
Marcy: Trucks and ducks. That really sucks.
Cynthia: I bet Oregon would have won if they wore their pretty avocado uniforms.
Marcy: You mean the ones that make them look like giant highlighter pens?
Cynthia: Yeah those. They didn’t look like themselves in those white uniforms so they got confused and that’s why they lost.
Marcy: White uniforms. That’s so stupid. That’s like waving the white flag before you even step onto the field. Besides, I’d be confused too if I had a stupid duck wearing a stupid scarf and a stupid beanie sitting on my shoulder pad.
Cynthia: That’s the school logo. It’s cute.
Marcy: Cute? On a football uniform?! No. That’s embarrassing. They need to have more self respect.
Cynthia: Well, it’s not very fierce, that’s for sure.
Marcy: It’s stupid.
Cynthia: I know you’re angry that we wasted time on an evening that was more stressful than entertaining, but I don’t think you should take it out on the University of Oregon’s logo.
Marcy (angrily): Why did we even watch this game in the first place? We should have been blogging!
Cynthia: Oh you know. Freddy’s from Oregon. So –
Marcy: Freddy’s from Oregon?! Can you send him back?
Marcy: Yeah. What’s the return policy on him? Does it include free shipping?
Cynthia: We’re not returning Freddy.
Marcy: Then exchange him for Ezekiel Elliot. He’s super cute.
Cynthia: Why don’t I get some Friskies for you? I think we missed dinner and it’ll cheer you up. How’s Poultry Platter tonight?
Marcy (grumpily): Only if it has duck in it.
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