Duck Soup

Metal Garden Art Duck by Frivolous Tendencies, for sale on Etsy

Monday evening. Cynthia and Marcy are camped out on the sofa looking grumpy and annoyed. 

The Oregon Ducks just lost to the Ohio State Buckeyes. The score: 42-20.

Cynthia’s husband, Freddy, has just retired to his office, crying into his Steelers Terrible Towel.

Cynthia:  This is terrible. We don’t have a post ready for our blog tomorrow.

Marcy:  Why not?

Cynthia:  Because we spent the last four hours watching the Oregon Ducks get smooshed by the Ohio State Buckeyes. Now we don’t have a blog post. How stupid are we?

Marcy:  Pretty stupid. That was the most annoying four hours of my life. And what’s with all the car commercials?

Cynthia:  And truck commercials.

Marcy:  Trucks and ducks. That really sucks.

Cynthia:  I bet Oregon would have won if they wore their pretty avocado uniforms.

Marcy:  You mean the ones that make them look like giant highlighter pens?



Cynthia:  Yeah those. They didn’t look like themselves in those white uniforms so they got confused and that’s why they lost.



Marcy:  White uniforms. That’s so stupid. That’s like waving the white flag before you even step onto the field. Besides, I’d be confused too if I had a stupid duck wearing a stupid scarf and a stupid beanie sitting on my shoulder pad.



Cynthia:  That’s the school logo. It’s cute.

Marcy:  Cute? On a football uniform?! No. That’s embarrassing. They need to have more self respect.

Cynthia:  Well, it’s not very fierce, that’s for sure.

Marcy:  It’s stupid.

Cynthia:  I know you’re angry that we wasted time on an evening that was more stressful than entertaining, but I don’t think you should take it out on the University of Oregon’s logo.

Marcy (angrily):  Why did we even watch this game in the first place? We should have been blogging!

Cynthia:  Oh you know. Freddy’s from Oregon. So –

Marcy:  Freddy’s from Oregon?! Can you send him back?

Cynthia:  Freddy?!

Marcy:  Yeah. What’s the return policy on him? Does it include free shipping?

Cynthia:  We’re not returning Freddy.

Marcy:  Then exchange him for Ezekiel Elliot. He’s super cute.


Ezekiel Elliot


Cynthia:  Why don’t I get some Friskies for you? I think we missed dinner and it’ll cheer you up. How’s Poultry Platter tonight?

Marcy (grumpily):  Only if it has duck in it.


Rustic Modern Nursery Art by Rustic Tots, for sale on Etsy
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  • Reply Freddy (your hubby) January 13, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    Hey, I didn't cry into my Terrible Towel. I just cursed into it a bit. (The Great Towel absorbs all.)

    Plus, I'm a USC Trojan, so I resent that Marcy mailed me back to Oregon. How do I get back?

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch January 13, 2015 at 10:40 pm

      friskies and anthropologie gift certificates. lots of them.

  • Reply Anonymous January 13, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    Ezekiel is super cute! But we would miss Freddy. I'm sorry his team(s) lost 🙁 I guess he can't count on Marcy cheering him up.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch January 13, 2015 at 10:41 pm

      super cute! and no way. football is stupid. can't believe i got roped in.

  • Reply Anonymous January 13, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    Cynthia and Marcy, you need to offer Oregon a fashion consultation. The green and yellow makes them look like toddlers and the white is so ghost-like you can't be sure they're even on the field. And what's with the logo? Who put a beanie on the duck and why? Tell Freddy it's not the fault of the team. Their self-confidence has been shattered by bad football couture.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch January 13, 2015 at 10:42 pm

      if they had consulted me to begin with we all wouldn't be so sad and grumpy today. i'm going to go whap them on the head.

  • Reply GnomeLover January 14, 2015 at 6:53 am

    Oh! You are a good wife! You watch his sport team with him? Well, unless you like football. I don't mind it once in awhile. I actually love the white uniform with the duck. It is so cute! But I guess that is probably not what they are going for.


    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch January 14, 2015 at 9:26 pm

      Sometimes I like football but that game was not fun at all. I think that duck is cute too!

  • Reply withwonderandwhimsy January 15, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    Kyle told me with great sadness that Ohio State was the big champ this year. We're University of Michigan fans, so we share your disdain for the Buckeyes. Kyle went to U of M, so his hatred is especially fierce. We didn't watch the game, since we're not really fans of either team. Plus, I don't think Kyle would have wanted to see Ohio State win. Lame! Had the Ducks been in their typical uniforms, they would have blinded the competition and secured their win!

    <3 Liz

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch January 16, 2015 at 7:42 am

      Freddy gets the same way about certain teams too. He was a smidge skeptical of my theory about the uniforms but I stand by it 😉

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