Marcy and Penelope Kitten interpret Cyber Monday a little differently than us humans. Or do they?
9am. Monday morning after Thanksgiving weekend.
Cynthia is carefully eating her Grape Nuts.
Marcy and Penelope Kitten march by, chanting, with lists in their paws.
Marcy: Get Get Get
penelope kitten (squeaking): gimme gimme gimme
Cynthia (cheerily): Watcha doin’ kitty cat cat cats?
Marcy: None of your beeswax, Birdbrain.
penelope kitten (squeaking): birdbrain.
Cynthia: Hey! Stop!
Marcy and Penelope Kitten continue their march to the office.
Marcy: Gimme Gimme Gimme
penelope kitten: get get get
Cynthia (following them): Hey! What did you call me?
Marcy: Uh. Hello. It’s Cyber Bully Monday.
Cynthia: What?! There’s no bully in Cyber Monday.
Marcy: Yes there is. Today is the day we get shouted at by retailers to buy stuff. They shout online, in your inbox, and on TV.
penelope kitten: yeah yeah. and it’s all on sale.
Marcy: Here’s a list of our demands.
Cynthia looks at the list as Marcy logs on to the computer.
Cynthia: There are over 100 items on this list!
Marcy: Get Get Get
penelope kitten: gimme gimme gimme
Marcy and penelope kitten: Gasp!
Cynthia: No. No way. You two are acting like little jerks.
Marcy: Of course! It’s Cyber Bully Monday!
Cynthia (yelling and exasperated): There is no bully in Cyber Monday! And even if there was a bully in Cyber Monday – which there absolutely is not – you still shouldn’t act like little meanies! ‘Cause… it’s mean!
Marcy and Penelope Kitten look confused.
Marcy: Oh. Sorry
penelope kitten: so sorry.
Marcy and Penelope Kitten slink away to their hiding spots in the closet.
A few hours later.
Cynthia crawls into the closet.
Cynthia: Sorry for yelling, kitties. But, bullies and meanies make me mad and sad. And it seems like we humans can’t get away from them lately.
I think that instead of buying a ton of stuff we don’t need we should donate cat food and money to our local cat shelters and cat rescuers. Okay?
Marcy and penelope kitten: Ok!
Cynthia: I did check out your lists and since ModCloth is having 25% off their entire store today I thought we could all pick out one fun item.
Marcy: Yay! I would like these huge round blue goggle sunglasses with cat ear accents.
penelope kitten(squeaking): yay! i would like the darth vader on a uni-cylce with a training wheel shirt.
Cynthia: Great. So we got some cute inexpensive treats but the real treat – and the true spirit – of the holidays is in giving. And being nice.
Cynthia stops sermonizing and leaves the closet.
Marcy: She must think she’s in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special or something.
penelope kitten (squeaking): or something.
Marcy: So. Did you manage to swipe her credit card?
penelope kitten: yeah yeah.