New Monday Feature: Cute cat videos to make your Monday marvelous! …
Marcy eagerly trots into the office with a stack of notes on her new idea.
Marcy: Listen to my new feature idea for the blog. I’ve done a ton of research on it.
Cynthia: Oh goodie!
Marcy: So. Human people are widely known to hate Mondays.
Marcy: Mondays stress human people out. Big time. So much so that the human people talk about it endlessly, create countless memes, and reference their Monday anxiety in movies and on morning talk radio shows. They even write songs about it.
Marcy: Well, since we talked about how science has proven cat videos to be a great stress reliever for human people, why not show a short and adorable cat video every Monday morning? To help the human people be happy.
Cynthia (warily): You want to help? Instead of inflicting hurt? What happened?
Marcy: I’ve decided to be a Benevolent Marcy instead of a Malevolent Marcy.
Cynthia stares at Marcy with a scared expression on her face.
A beat as they stare at one another.
Marcy: In answer to that look on your face, yes, I have a long term agenda.
Cynthia’s eyes widen in terror.
Marcy: But first… the very first … Marcy’s Monday Morning Moggy Meditation Movie.
Cynthia (whispering from fear): Those were kittens. You hate kittens.
Marcy (reassuringly): Just watch the video again.
Marcy trots off with her notes and her new agenda.