Feline

Marcy Goes To Hollywood (Cat Lady Looks From 1961)

Marcy:  Cindy, look! They are holding cat auditions in Hollywood. Let’s go! I am prettier than all of those stupid cats on leashes! I know I’ll get the part.

Photo by Ralph Crane, 1961, for “Black Cat Auditions In Hollywood”

Cynthia:  Ummmm… hmmmmm… uh, well…

Marcy:  Hmmmm WHAT?! Get my headshot and let’s go!

Cynthia:  Oh, Marcy, this is a picture from 1961. The auditions were possibly for a Roger Corman film called Tales of Terror.

Marcy:  So WHAT?! I’m going to be famous. Let’s go!

Cynthia:  But that was over 50 years ago. Why do you want to be famous anyway?

Marcy:  Because I need to get the hell out of this cat infested dump before I go crazy!

Cynthia (hurt):  Awwww… we have a nice place.

Marcy:  Because I want to be important and looked at and admired and idolized for being pretty and mean and vapid.

Cynthia:  Uh… I don’t think you want to be vapid.

Marcy:  CAN YOU GET ME ON A PEOPLE MAGAZINE COVER, CINDY? CAN YOU? CAN YOU?

Cynthia:  No.

Marcy:  That’s because you look like crap. If you are going to be my agent I need you to step up your fashion game.

Cynthia:  Now I’m your agent?

Marcy: You will obviously need pedal pushers or a pencil skirt, a bouffant hair-do, and a nice strand of pearls. Oh! And a structured and classy purse. Try and look like this:

Photo by Ralph Crane, 1961

Marcy:  Or this. Although I highly doubt you could manage to look this good. Try, please.

Photo by Ralph Crane, 1961

Marcy:  However, if you look like this I will hire a new agent.

Photo by Ralph Crane, 1961

Cynthia:  Awww… look at those cute crazy old cat ladies. That’s my future, Marcy! I love it! You know, I think I have a pair of Oxfords just like the lady on the right. (as she rushes off) I’ll go get them!

Marcy (disgusted):  And this is why I’m leaving to be a Hollywood Star.

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5 Comments

  • Reply Freddy August 1, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    Marcy, didn't you notice you'd have to become a black cat in order to audition?

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch August 2, 2014 at 6:48 am

      it won't be a problem. i know i'm more talented then all of those penelope kitten look-alikes. i'll be on the cover of People Magazine in no time.
      meow,marcy

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