Feline

L.A. City Hall Desperately Needs Cats

Los Angeles City Hall. Photo by Craig Baker. Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

 

Marcy and Penelope Kitten turn City Hall into Kitty Hall. …

 

7am.

Cynthia is getting ready for jury duty when Marcy saunters in.

Marcy:  I hope you’re not going to City Hall.

Cynthia:  Why? That’s exactly where I’m going.

Marcy: Then don’t come back home ‘cause Los Angeles City Hall is infested with rats and some lady who works there just got typhus.

Penelope Kitten dramatically blocks the door.

penelope kitten (squeaking):  you’re not leaving until we catify city hall. let’s get on it, marcy very much.

Cue the Dragnet theme song.

Marcy and Penelope Kitten brainstorm.

Marcy

penelope kitten

 

They spread architectural floor plans and maps of Downtown Los Angeles out on the kitchen table.

penelope kitten:  facts, please, sir.

Marcy: The entire building is infested.

penelope kitten: ha ha. like that will work.

Marcy:  City Councilman Herb Wesson wants to rip up the carpets and not replace them. He likes his new polished concrete floors that go with the art deco design of the building. Plus, he wants an inventory of all plants.

penelope kitten: wrong. here’s what they need.

  • 5 indoor-friendly cats per floor.
  • 20 community cats outdoors. 

that’s 155 total cats. gasp… we can save them from the city shelters.

Marcy:  Exactly. Put those working cats to work. When the Los Angeles Flower Market employed working cats at their downtown mart, their rat infestation disappeared.

penelope kitten:  plus, cat cuddles are good for employee morale.

 

Marcy:  Exactly. So. Let’s start implementing the plan. Better call the mayor first.

Penelope Kitten gets on the phone to the mayor’s office. She hangs up quickly.

penelope kitten:  not there.

Marcy: Figures. Where is the mayor when you need him?

penelope kitten: iowa. possibly new hampshire.

Marcy: Can’t be. He declared he wouldn’t run for president.

penelope kitten:  eric garcetti yes. eric gar-catti still has hopes.

Marcy:  Get LA Times reporter, Steve Lopez, on this stat. And tell him he needs cats too. I’m sick of hearing him weep about unwanted wildlife wreaking havoc on his house. Tell him to pussy up and stop pouting.

penelope kitten:  operation kitty hall here we come.

Marcy and penelope kitten:  MEOW!

=^..^=

*Hey Los Angeles! YOU. NEED. CATS.  The answer to your problem is sitting in your very own backyards, streets, and city and county animal shelters!

*Check out Best Friends Working Cats Program.

 

 

Previous Post Next Post

You Might Also Like

8 Comments

  • Reply Big Momma February 10, 2019 at 6:04 am

    I agree with you guys. Every workplace should have cats. They live at the feed store to keep rodents out of the grain and when I walk in Milo rubs against my leg and it makes me buy more stuff. Great PR and pest control. Hope they’re getting paid.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch February 10, 2019 at 12:46 pm

      Milo sounds like an excellent salescat. I’m sure the working cats are happy to get paid in food and security! Contrary to popular belief, cats are easily pleased.
      =^..^=
      xo,
      cynthia

  • Reply TheLadyK February 10, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    That’s SUCH a good idea. It’s one of those perfect, logical solutions that are so perfect, you can’t see them even when they’re right in front of your face.

    Are you going to forward this post to Steve Lopez?

    Also: DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE JURY DUTY TOMORROW? If so, I’m so sorry!! I wish I would have known; I would have baked you some awesome GF treats to take with you! (And given you some potentially helpful lawyer-suggested tips to get out of it.)

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch February 10, 2019 at 6:46 pm

      Yes! I plan to forward to all pertinent peeps! Isn’t it crazy how a perfectly great idea will get ignored. Grrr… Apparently – the bubonic plague could have been avoided if the powers that be didn’t kill all the cats.
      Btw, last time I was on jury duty it was with former California Gov. Pete Wilson! I wanted to dislike him but he was pretty nice and thought I made a particularly smart comment to the Judge (who chastised me ’cause he didn’t agree with me!)
      Maybe we should unionize the cats!
      xo,
      cynthia

  • Reply Patty February 11, 2019 at 12:29 pm

    This is such a great idea!!! I really think if you can get them to hear you, they’ll do this. It would be great PR for the city.

    • mm
      Reply penelope kitten February 11, 2019 at 12:32 pm

      trying!
      pk’s pr team is on it.
      squeak,
      penelope kitten

      • Reply Vik February 11, 2019 at 5:03 pm

        Keep us posted!

        • mm
          Reply Marcy Cat February 11, 2019 at 5:07 pm

          will do!
          meow,
          marcy

    Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.