We’re done with it and will wear this NOPE tee by Monday Girl Apparel in protest.
(buying via the link above may result in Marcy and Penelope Kitten getting more treats)
5pm Pacific Time. The Golden Globes Awards Ceremony is starting.
Marcy and Cynthia silently stare at the TV. Their mouths agape.
Ricky Gervais is giving an angry, mean, facile, and infantile opening monologue in which he resorts to unfunny butt jokes and crappy sexual innuendos.
But the scariest part for Marcy and Cynthia is watching the actors/directors/producers laugh uproariously.
Cynthia: Why are they laughing? This is such amateur comedy. Did he have an intern write this?
Marcy: They’re scared. Can’t you see – they’re laughing with their mouths but you can see the panic in their eyes.
Cynthia: It’s like an amateur open mic night where all the audience is made up of comics. Or junior high when the popular mean girl picks on the nerd. No one wants to look uncool by not going along even though they know it’s crappy/wrong.
Marcy: And we like Ricky Gervais usually.
Cynthia: I know. He’s a great advocate for the animals.
Just then Jonah Hill comes onstage in a stupid bear mask. And again, the audience of actors/directors/producers laugh uproariously.
Marcy: Give me the remote.
Marcy takes the remote and hits the power button.
The TV goes dark.
Marcy: By the way, this is supposed to be a post about the red carpet looks, not a rant on morality. We’re a FUN blog, you know.
Cynthia: So, did you have a favorite look?
Marcy: No. Did you?
Cynthia: No. Nothing was amazing. We saw lots of red lipstick, white-blonde hair, odd cut-out gowns, white gowns, and very dark spray-on tans.
Marcy: I think the red carpet fun died with Joan.
Marcy and Cynthia take a moment of silence in remembrance of Joan Rivers.
Cynthia: I believe you are correct. Joan invented the red carpet revelry two decades ago. She infused it with her unbridled joy of fashion and a love of glamour.
Marcy: And expert cattiness.
Cynthia: Yes, that too. What a thrill! The red carpet feels so passe now. I’m done with it. I think from now on we will only talk about red carpet looks if something comes along that is truly amazing.
Marcy: Shall we?
Cynthia raises her martini glass. Marcy raises her Friskies can.
Marcy and Cynthia: Cheers to Joan Rivers. May she rest in peace and tap dance in an afterlife of true Hollywood glitz and glamour.