Fashion

Clear Knee Mom Jeans Are Not A Practical Joke

 

Seriously. No joke. …

 

Cynthia:  As you know, we here at Marcy Very Much love to make fun of silly fashion trends.

Marcy:  Love it.

Cynthia:  And for the most part, we acknowledge that whatever item we are making fun of can be considered covetable by some parts of the population.

Marcy:  For the most part.

Cynthia:  For example, we acknowledge that paint spattered shirts, jean sandal boots, and even socks with flip flops have their place of happiness amongst certain individuals.

Marcy:  Delusional happiness. But, happiness just the same.

Cynthia:  But seriously. When we saw these Clear Knee Mom Jeans we were absolutely certain they were a practical joke.

Marcy:  Certain.

Cynthia:  When we realized that they were not a practical joke we set out to skewer them in a blog post.

Marcy:  Skewer.

Cynthia:  But then, we started reading the (fake) customer reviews on the Nordstrom site about the jeans and we realized that those reviews are way more hysterical than anything we could write.

Marcy:  Nordstrom has since taken down the reviews, thus, proving that they have no sense of humor and they take these jeans seriously. But, I’m a cat who knows how to copy and paste!

 

 

Cynthia:  So… without further ado – here are the fantastically funny faux reviews of the Topshop Clear Knee Mom Jeans that lived for a short while on the Nordstrom website!

Marcy:  Ha!

=^..^=

From: GoodShoesCantLose (5 stars)

Perfect for Spring in New England

  • Finally! These jeans are the perfect (whimsical!) solution to those chilly spring days when you want something fun and a little revealing, but you don’t want to freeze your knees off! Can’t wait to wear them at my moms’ group Easter Egg Hunt! I’ll be the only one there with no grass stains on my knees after helping my little one scoop up eggs. Just planned a knee buff at the salon so I’ll be ready!

From: ProudMammaInPA (4 stars)

PERFECT

  • I’ve been looking for a way to display the free 4×6 prints that apps have been offering lately. I’m only giving 4 stars because I had to add a panel in the back to hold the photos.My teenagers are going to be SO excited when I wear these to show off new pictures of them. I’m especially excited for #TBT !!

From: ShowgirlLola (4 stars)

Fogged Up My Knee Windows

  • As stylish as they are, my knees stick to the plastic from time to time and when it’s a little warmer out, my knees are extra sweaty and fog up the plastic. I guess if you’re not a very sweaty person they’re perfect. I just need little windshield wipers for mine or a defogger. If they were a little more “mom-ish” i would probably have extra room for such features. Still worth EVERY. DANG. PENNY. Gotta show off those knees! Drives the dads WILD

From: Deforistation (5 stars)

A hairy situation

  • Being a busy mom I find it difficult to find time to do the small things, like shave my legs. Like many, it was always easier to throw on a pair of jeans and hide my hairy legs. Not anymore after I bought these! I was once a lazy and hairy mom, but now to save me from embarrassment in public I have motivation back again to shave on a regular basis. TopShop you have given me my confidence back! Now if only you can invent windows for my armpits…

From: Bumblee3d (1 star)

meh

  • I really liked these but had to return them because there is not a matching jean shirt with clear elbows.

From: LeslieGS (1 star)

Hairy Knees!

  • I worried that I would have to shave if I wore these jeans, but now I realize I only need to shave about a 5 inch section so I’m good! My husband did always say that my knees were my best feature!

From: Chloe101 (5 stars)

Amazing

  • I’ve always wanted these jeans oh my goodness! Going to the strip club with these was really beneficial, everyone loves the flash of a knee (; Thank you Topshop, I can now have windows for my knees!

From: Lyrical 235 (4 stars)

Knee vision.

  • Fits just fine. Easy to see the knees.

**Awesome Update! 

Our bloggy friend, Gwen of London Preppy, sent us the faux reviews of these jeans from across the pond. That’s right, the jeans are sold at Topshop stores in London. Gwen says that some of the sizes have even sold out!

I’m with reader, Lady K, and would love to see these out and about in real life. Please send a pic if you’ve bought these jeans. I promise we’ll be nice!

Thanks, Gwen! ♥

=^..^=

Finally, raincoats for knees!

  • I want to look amazing in ripped jeans but living in a rainy climate means my knees are often vulnerable to perilous weather conditions. Now finally I can be fashionable and practical, my knees salute you Topshop.

Windows to the knees

  • I’ve always felt that if eyes are the window to the soul, why on earth should jeans not be windows to the knees? At last this musing has come to fruition. Absolutely recommended.

My best purchase this month

  • Where can I start? These jeans are perfect for me. I love the look of knees and I hate that normal jeans cover them up. I have bought a pair of these jeans for my wife and 2 daughters and they love them too. I like to see their knees as they wear them. This truly is an innovative design.

Amazing

  • These jeans are incredible – no longer do I have to feel ‘knee shamed’ as a person who has had medical issues with my knees in the past, I can now be proud of who I am and how my knees look, and show the world what my knees mean to me.
  • Also, it’s incredible how these jeans are ‘100% cotton’ – including the clear panel which looks like plastic (but can’t be) and metal-looking zipper and button – cotton is such a versatile material.

Jeans are ace

  • If you love knees and you love jeans you will love knees jeans. It’s just like putting your knees in a greenhouse so expect sweat, lots of sweat. Also be prepared for people in the street to point, or cover their mouths and look like they are giggling as you pass. Sometimes you’ve got to make sacrifices for fashion and if that involves covering your knees in a clear carrier bag so be it.

 

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18 Comments

  • Reply Gwen March 22, 2017 at 1:51 am

    BWAHAHAHA!!! These “reviews” are amazing. Especially the one about returning them because there was no matching jean shirt – picturing *that* outfit in my head just kills me! The fact that someone made these… and thought this would be the next big thing since embroidered everything… I mean, April *is* just around the corner, if only they’d waited until the first of the month to launch these babies…! T_T (tears of laughter)

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 22, 2017 at 1:22 pm

      I was so bummed when I saw that Nordstrom had taken them down. Btw, these are Topshop jeans. I wonder if they are selling them over by you or if they made them just for the Americans. lol
      xo,cynthia

      • Reply Gwen March 23, 2017 at 4:50 pm

        No, no, they are selling them here, too – and the two smaller sizes are sold out! There are some hilarious reviews on the English Topshop site, I saved them all for you in a word document. Just DM me your email over Insta and these gloriously sarcastic reviews will be yours! 😉

        • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 23, 2017 at 5:52 pm

          OMG OMG OMG!!! Will do! Thank you!!
          xoxo

  • Reply Big Momma March 22, 2017 at 11:11 am

    These pants were made for gardening. Nothing gets the knees dirtier than crawling around in dirt. There was was no doubt a shipping error and Nordstrom got the delivery instead of Gardener’s Supply.
    I put my order in and can’t wait to garden, wipe and go while looking glam.
    Thanks, Cynthia and Marcy!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 22, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Interesting theory! But you should wait until they go on sale. Because they will definitely be going on sale! lololol
      xo and meow,
      cynthia + marcy

  • Reply Patty March 22, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    Those jeans are absolute craziness! So glad Marcy is tech-savvy!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 22, 2017 at 5:06 pm

      =^..^=
      meow,marcy

  • Reply Vik March 22, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    So those reviews really were on the website? How did you happen to see them? This is all very entertaining!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 22, 2017 at 8:51 pm

      Yes! Can you believe it? They were actually ON the Nordstrom website this past weekend. I started writing a post about the pants and went to the site to get more pictures and I noticed that there were about 25-30 reviews. I thought – who in the heck is buying these pants?! When I started reading the reviews I got that everyone was in on the joke and that no one had really bought the jeans. More funny reviews kept popping up. I immediately copy and pasted the ones I thought were the funniest because I couldn’t imagine that when the Nordstrom team got to work on Monday morning and saw what was going on that they would stay on the site. And, I was right. Nordstrom deleted ALL of them but one. Hysterical!
      xo,cynthia

      • Reply Vik March 23, 2017 at 4:45 am

        Haha! Very proactive of you!!!!

        • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 23, 2017 at 1:41 pm

          Hee hee hee! Thank you!!
          xo,cynthia

  • Reply TheLadyK March 22, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
    The one about the fogging up and needing a defroster for her sweaty knees — GOLDEN!
    Please, please, please let me see some idiot walking around in these — that would make my whole life!
    And… I suppose they could be worse.
    They could be clear plastic jeans with denim knee patches.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 23, 2017 at 1:33 pm

      hmmm… you may be on to something!!! ahahahahaha
      xo,cynthia

  • Reply Liz April 3, 2017 at 6:11 am

    This is hysterical! I have seen these jeans all over the web and blogosphere, but I’ve yet to see an everyday person wearing them or posting their #OOTD. The reviews are hilarious. Why oh why did Nordstorm remove them? I’m certain the funny reviews have motivated someone to buy them, even if as a joke. A sale is still a sale, Nordstrom! lol

    My favorite reviews were about protecting your knees during a down-and-dirty Easter egg hunt in the grass. And also about driving the dads wild with your scantily clad knees.

    Too funny. Exactly what I needed to wake up on this Monday morning!

    Liz
    http://www.withwonderandwhimsy.com

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch April 3, 2017 at 12:41 pm

      Gwen said that these are selling out in London!!! Crazy times crazy times…
      xo,cynthia

  • Reply Vik May 17, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    I thought of you today, when within half an hour I saw two different people wearing jeans sort of like this. Except the oblongs were a little higher up on the thigh and didn’t have plastic over them. The holes were too symmetrical to be from actual wear. So I thought, I totally have to tell Cynthia and Marcy!!!!!! Meeeyow!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch May 23, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      Oh my gosh that is INSANE that you saw two people wearing similar jeans to the Clear Knee Mom Jeans! Maybe it really will become a thing and we will all want them next year at this time. Aaaackkkk!!! I hope not! Marcy is rolling her eyes and pretending to throw up a hairball. Oh… wait… not pretending. lolololol
      xo,cynthia

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