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mostly me, by penelope

Feline, mostly me, by penelope

mostly me, by penelope: cuddle college bound

Black Cat With Suitcase

Penelope Kitten is sitting by the front door.

Her suitcase is packed.

penelope kitten (squeaking):  bye bye.

Cynthia (surprised):  What?! Where are you going?

penelope kitten:  nursing school.

Cynthia:  Nursing school? Why are you going to nursing school?

Marcy (disgusted):  She saw that Bored Panda post about the black cat who nurses sick pets back to health by cuddling with them and now she wants to be a Nurse Cat too. She’s such a do-gooder.

Nurse Cat from Poland
Nurse Cat

 

penelope kitten:  better to be a do-gooder than a no-gooder.

Marcy (scoffing):  Whatever.

penelpe kitten:  cuddles are needed. gotta go.

Cynthia:  Ah… but we’ll miss you. Hey! Maybe you could stick around for when one of us here gets sick?  I’m sure Marcy would love to be cuddled by a Nurse Cat when she catches a cold.

Marcy:  Yuck! I don’t want Penelope purring all over me. Besides, she’s so dumb, she’ll never pass her classes.

penelope kitten:  you’re mean. i’m going to cuddle you til you’re nice.

Penelope Kitten launches herself into the air and onto Marcy’s head, pinning her down in a massive kitty cuddle.  

Marcy’s swears and curses are muffled by Penelope Kitten’s purrs.

Cynthia:  Looks like you don’t need school. You’re a natural.

penelope kitten:  this’ll take a while.

Cynthia:  So I should unpack your bags?

penelope kitten:  yeah yeah.

Marcy continues to hiss and swear as Penelope Kitten showers her with cuddles and purrs.

_____________________________________________________________________________

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mostly me, by penelope (april fools’ day 2015)

penelope kitten


Cynthia is in the kitchen dishing out Friskies as Marcy eagerly watches.

Just as Cynthia puts down the food and leaves, Penelope Kitten rushes into the kitchen.

penelope kitten:  phone call. it’s for you.

Marcy:  I’m about to eat. Tell them to call me back.

penelope kitten: can’t. long distance.

Marcy:  So.

penelope kitten:  from paris.

Marcy perks up.

Marcy:  There’s a phone call from … Paris? For me?

penelope kitten:  yeah yeah. says his name is pierre.

Marcy starts speaking French.

Marcy:  Gasp! Pierre de Paris? Oui?

penelope kitten:  we we.

Marcy:  Mon Dieu!

penelope kitten:  says he read your blog. thinks you’re chic. wants you to model with Henri at the eiffel tower.

Marcy:  Moi et Henri Le Chat Noir en Paris?

Marcy races off to the other room and picks up the telephone.

Marcy:  Bonjour. Ce est parlar, Marcy.

Silence.

Marcy:  Allo? … Allo? … Meow? … Allo? … Allo?

Marcy confusedly hangs up and heads back to the kitchen.

Marcy:  Hey Penelope! Did Pierre –

Marcy stops cold as she sees Penelope Kitten with a face full of Friskies.

penelope kitten:  april fools! ha ha.

Penelope Kitten scampers off with a belly full of Marcy’s Friskies.

Marcy (seething):  Little sisters should be outlawed.

 

 

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Feline, mostly me, by penelope

mostly me, by penelope: saint paddy’s day scare

penelope kitten

Cynthia, Marcy, and Tabby Cat Hamlet are searching for Penelope Kitten. She’s been missing for over an hour.

Cynthia (calling):  Penelopeeeee… Penelopeeeee… where are you…? Penelopeeee….

Tabby Cat Hamlet finally finds Penelope Kitten hiding under the bed covers.

Hamlet:  Awwww… P… what are you doing?

penelope kitten:  hiding.

Hamlet:  From what?

penelope kitten: leprechauns.

Hamlet:  Why are you hiding from leprechauns?

penelope kitten:  not wearing green. don’t wanna get pinched. it hurts. it’s not nice.

 

penelope kitten

Hamlet: Oh, Penelope. Leprechauns don’t exist. That’s a superstition – same as saying black cats are bad luck.

penelope kitten:  no. no. totes true. got pinched five times already.

Hamlet:  Really?

penelope kitten:  yeah yeah. they’re out there.

Just then Marcy struts into the bedroom.

Marcy:  So did you find her?

Hamlet realizes what’s going on. He pushes the covers back over Penelope.

Hamlet (innocently):  Nope.

Marcy:  Too bad.

Pause.

Hamlet (nonchalantly):  Hey Marcy! I notice … you aren’t wearing green today.

They lock eyes for a moment. 

Marcy suddenly bolts away with Hamlet in hot pursuit.

penelope kitten (from under the covers): leprechauns are super scary.

Hamlet returns with a four leaf clover.

Hamlet:  Here ya go, P. Put this on your head for the rest of the day.

Art by Amy Lynn Bihrle, on Etsy

 

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Feline, mostly me, by penelope

All Black Cats Are Not Alike – The Illustrated Book Kickstarter Campaign

 

All Black Cats Are Not Alike Kickstarter Campaign



Cynthia: I was perusing the awesome Kate Benjamin’s Hauspanther site and I came across her post about Studio Goldsparkle’s kickstarter campaign.

Studio Goldsparkle is campaigning to create an illustrated book about black cats called, All Black Cats Are Not Alike.

 

Mockup of All Black Cats Are Not Alike



Marcy:  So?

Cynthia:  So Peter Arkle is an amazing illustrator whose work appears in Time Magazine and the New Yorker, and Amy Goldwasser is a super talented editor and writer. They love cats and will feature 50 distinct black cats in their book.

One of the rewards is a chance to nominate a black cat to join the All Black Cat Casting Call. Winners of the casting call will be featured in the book. Isn’t that so fantastic?

Marcy (shrugging):  Not really.

Cynthia (excitedly):  Aw c’mon! Guess who I’m nominating?

Marcy (exasperated):  But I’m not a black cat. I’m white cat with black markings. Sometimes I wonder about your powers of observation.

Cynthia:  Oh… uh… I meant that I’m nominating Penelope Kitten.

 

Penelope Kitten learns she’s nominated for All Black Cats Are Not Alike 



penelope kitten (squeaking):  me?

Marcy:  Gasp. You wouldn’t.

Cynthia:  Why not? It would be a great opportunity for Penelope Kitten if she were chosen. Don’t you want our Pkitty to be just as famous as you?

Marcy:  No.

penelope kitten (squeaking loudly):  photo shoot playtime!

Penelope Kitten excitedly hops and flops and crashes into Marcy trying to figure out her best side for photos. 

penelope kitten:  this is my best side. no this is. no this. wait. this is the best…

this no this how about this wait this is the best

Marcy is disgusted. She stalks off, whipping her tail back and forth.

Cynthia:  Ahhhhh… Marcy… where are you going in such a huff?

Marcy:  Off to start my own Kickstarter campaign. It’s an interactive media project called Big Sister Revenge.

*Only a few days left to contribute and nominate your favorite black cat to Goldsparkle’s Kickstarter campaign for ALL BLACK CATS Are Not Alike.  


The deadline is 11am Thursday, February 26th. 


They’re getting close to their goal!  Good luck, Studio Goldsparkle!

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